codehappy quotes

Heard in a Library:
"Where is the reference desk?" -- Asked of a worker sitting at a desk, over which was a sign saying 'REFERENCE DESK'.

BE ALERT!!!! (The world needs more lerts...)

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters,
con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this
country was built.
-- Hubert Allen

"If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little
Lavoris in the toilet."

-- Jay Leno

Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't
work half the time.

Logic is a system whereby one may go wrong with confidence.

-- Charles Kettering

A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone,
all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.
-- J. Hawes

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that
brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
-- Ronnie Shakes

Monday, n.:
In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game.

-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

"Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers."

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun
is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.--

-- Mark Twain

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except
Congress.

-- Mark Twain

Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.

-- Mark Twain

Clothes make the man.

Naked people have little or no influence on society.

-- Mark Twain

"When in doubt, tell the truth."

-- Mark Twain

One day a girl at school told me that her father's laptop had a virus.
Me: "Well, did anyone put a disk in that might have had a virus on it?"
Her: "No, all our disks are clean. But is it possible to get a virus because I
plugged it into a different plug than at our house?"

A manager went to the master programmer and showed him the requirements
document for a new application. The manager asked the master: "How long will
it take to design this system if I assign five programmers to it?"
"It will take one year," said the master promptly.
"But we need this system immediately or even sooner! How long will it
take it I assign ten programmers to it?"
The master programmer frowned. "In that case, it will take two years."
"And what if I assign a hundred programmers to it?"
The master programmer shrugged. "Then the design will never be
completed," he said.
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"

Slowly and surely the unix crept up on the Nintendo user ...

I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature.
- Thomas Jefferson