corn growing quotes

Problem weeds appear first at the back end of the field you visit least.
Corollary: You won't see them until the seeds have gone through the combine.
-- Tare's Tenets n°3

Unloading augers break only when the combine bin is completely full.
-- Deere's Dictums n°2

The announcement of the one meeting you most wanted to attend will arrive in the mail the day after the event.
-- Postal Postulate

When you mistakenly plant at too high a population, every seed will grow.
-- Planter's Paradox

Corn borers are selectively attracted to the hybrid with the weakest stalks.
-- The Entomologist's Edict

Weeds are the only plants that thrive in miserable weather.
-- Tare's Tenets n°1

Cattle never break out while you're watching.
Corollary: You'll find them in the field you entered in the crop competition.
-- The Taurine Tenet

Spray drift is selectively attracted to soybean fields.
-- The Dicamba Dictum

The most essential parts are always on back-order.
-- Mechanics' Maxims n°1

Coulters never fall off on the headlands.
-- Plowman's Precept n°1

The nozzle behind the sprayer tank will be the first one to plug
-- The Law of Inverse Visibility

When you can't discover the cause of a breakdown, all of the free advice you get will be for things you've already checked.
-- Kibitzer's Constant

The tool you need is back at the shop.
-- Mechanics' Maxims n°3

Stones get bigger at night.
-- The Harvester's Homily

If you stop for a beer, after having been in the field since 5 a.m., the first person you see will be: a) your banker b) your minister or c) your mother-in-law. (Note: "Molson's Golden" is a brand of beer in Canada.)
-- The "Golden" Rule

The twitchgrass is always greener on your side of the fence.
-- Tare's Tenets n°2

The more work you have to get done, the more likely it is to rain.
-- Precipitation Precepts n°1

Following a summer-long drought, the rainfall received during harvest will be equivalent to twice the accumulated moisture deficit for the entire growing season.
-- Precipitation Precepts n°3

If your hired man spreads fertilizer on the wrong field, he will put it on one that already tests "Excessive".
-- The Potash Principle

Nails are selectively attracted to the inside dual.
-- The Puncture Principle