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Related Tags mark ardis, elbert hubbard, seventh chromosome, being told, oliver herford, cerebus, bitty machines, j mccabe, michael jackson, thomas k connellan, see also computer, goodstein, marcel marceau, jim warner, joan of arc

Bubble Memory, n.:
A derogatory term, usually referring to a person's intelligence.
See also "vacuum tube".

Bucy's Law:
Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.

bug, n:
A son of a glitch.

bug, n:
An elusive creature living in a program that makes it incorrect.
The activity of "debugging", or removing bugs from a program, ends
when people get tired of doing it, not when the bugs are removed.
-- "Datamation", January 15, 1984

Bugs, pl. n.:
Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.

Bumper sticker:
All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest
British manufacture.

Bunker's Admonition:
You cannot buy beer; you can only rent it.

The obsessive act of opening and closing a refrigerator door in
an attempt to catch it before the automatic light comes on.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends

Bureau Termination, Law of:
When a government bureau is scheduled to be phased out,
the number of employees in that bureau will double within
12 months after the decision is made.

bureaucracy, n:
A method for transforming energy into solid waste.

Burke's Postulates:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Don't create a problem for which you do not have the answer.

buzzword, n:
The fly in the ointment of computer literacy.

byob, v:
Believing Your Own Bull

C, n:
A programming language that is sort of like Pascal except more like
assembly except that it isn't very much like either one, or anything
else. It is either the best language available to the art today, or
it isn't.
-- Ray Simard

Cabbage, n.:
A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as
a man's head.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

A very expensive part of the memory system of a computer that no one
is supposed to know is there.

Cahn's Axiom:
When all else fails, read the instructions.

Campbell's Law:
Nature abhors a vacuous experimenter.

Canada Bill Jones's Motto:
It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

Canada Bill Jones's Supplement:
A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

Canonical, adj.:
The usual or standard state or manner of something. A true story:
One Bob Sjoberg, new at the MIT AI Lab, expressed some annoyance at the use
of jargon. Over his loud objections, we made a point of using jargon as
much as possible in his presence, and eventually it began to sink in.
Finally, in one conversation, he used the word "canonical" in jargon-like
fashion without thinking.
Steele: "Aha! We've finally got you talking jargon too!"
Stallman: "What did he say?"
Steele: "He just used `canonical' in the canonical way."

Captain Penny's Law:
You can fool all of the people some of the time, and
some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.

Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun), n.:
The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a
dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then
putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Carson's Consolation:
Nothing is ever a complete failure.
It can always be used as a bad example.

Carson's Observation on Footwear:
If the shoe fits, buy the other one too.

Cat, n.:
Lapwarmer with built-in buzzer.