feet of clay quotes

"He raised his hammer defiantly and opened his mouth to say, "Oh, yeah?" but stopped, because just by his ear he heard a growl. It was quite low and soft, but it had a complex little waveform which went straight down into a little knobbly bit in his spinal column where it pressed an ancient button marked Primal Terror."
(Feet of Clay)

I AM DEATH, NOT TAXES. *I* TURN UP ONLY ONCE.
(Feet of Clay)

There were no public health laws in Ankh-Morpork. It would be like
installing smoke detectors in Hell.
(Feet of Clay)

You never ever volunteered. Not even if a sergant stood there and said, "We
need someone to drink alcohol, bottles of, and make love, passionate, to
women, for the use of." There was *always* a snag. If a choir of angels
asked for volunteers for Paradise to step forward, Nobby knew enough to
take one smart pace to the rear.
(Feet of Clay)

"Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're
not a nasty small-minded little jerk [...]"
(Feet of Clay)

Slab: Jus' say 'AarrghaarrghpleeassennononoUGH'.
(Feet of Clay)

Rumour is information distilled so finely that it can filter through
anything. It does not need doors and windows -- sometimes it does not need
people. It can exist free and wild, running from ear to ear without ever
touching lips.
(Feet of Clay)

"Today Is A Good Day For Someone Else To Die!"
(Feet of Clay)

You couldn't say, 'I had orders.' You couldn't say, 'It's not fair.' No one was listening. There were no Words. You owned yourself.
...
Not Thou Shalt Not. Say I Will Not.
(Feet of Clay)

'They think they want good government and justice for all, Vimes, yet what is it they really crave, deep in their hearts? Only that things go on as normal and tomorrow is pretty much like today.'
(Feet of Clay)

'That's blasphemy,' said the vampire.
He gasped as Vimes shot him a glance like sunlight. 'That's what people say when the voiceless speak.'
(Feet of Clay)

It was easy to be a vegetarian by day. It was preventing yourself from becoming a humanitarian at night that took the real effort.
(Feet of Clay)

'In the Fyres of Struggle let us bake New Men, who Will Notte heed the old Lies.'
(Feet of Clay)

History had wanted surgery. Sometimes Dr Chopper is the only surgeon to hand. There's something final about an axe.
(Feet of Clay)

'It's time to-'
'Prod buttock, sir?' said Carrot, hurriedly.
'Close,' said Vimes, taking a deep drag and blowing out a smoke ring, 'but no cigar.'
(Feet of Clay)

And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be
living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got
you invited to the very best social occasions.
(Feet of Clay)

...He hated the very idea of the world being divided into the shaved and
the shavers. Or those who wore the shiny boots and those who cleaned the
mud off them. Every time he saw Willikins the butler fold his, Vimes's,
clothes, he suppressed a terrible urge to kick the butler's shiny backside
as an affront to the dignity of man.
(Feet of Clay)

Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate...
(Feet of Clay)

It was hard enough to kill a vampire. You could stake them down and turn
them into dust and ten years later someone drops a drop of blood in the
wrong place and *guess who's back*? They returned more times than raw
broccoli.
(Feet of Clay)

"Bingeley bingeley beep!"
(Feet of Clay)