food quotes

Where do you go to get anorexia?
-- Shelley Winters

The number of coupons of the person in front of you is directly proportional to how much of a hurry you're in
-- Murphy's Food Laws n°15

The cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat.
-- John McNulty

Seeing is deceiving. It's eating that's believing.
-- James Thurber

Without coffee he could not work, or at least he could not have worked in the
way he did. In addition to paper and pens, he took with him everywhere as an
indispensable article of equipment the coffee machine, which was no less
important to him than his table or his white robe.
-- Stefan Zweigs, Biography of Balzac

Ovens either overcook or undercook
-- Murphy's Food Laws n°7

When you're dining out and you suspect something's wrong, you're probably right.

Did you hear that Captain Crunch, Sugar Bear, Tony the Tiger, and
Snap, Crackle and Pop were all murdered recently...

Police suspect the work of a cereal killer!

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian

I just ate a whole package of Sweet Tarts and a can of Coke. I think I saw God.
-- B. Hathrume Duk

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
-- Totie Fields

I have no doubt that it is a part of the destiny of the human race,
in its gradual improvement, to leave off eating animals.
-- Thoreau

Kissing don't last, cookery do.
-- George Meredith

To lose weight, eat less; to gain weight, eat more; if you merely
wish to maintain, do whatever you were doing.
The Bronx diet is a legitimate system of food therapy showing that
food SHOULD be used a crutch and which food could be the most effective in
promoting spiritual and emotional satisfaction. For the first time, an
eater could instantly grasp the connection between relieving depression and
Mallomars, and understand why a lover's quarrel isn't so bad if there's a
pint of ice cream nearby.
-- Richard Smith, "The Bronx Diet"

Remember, DESSERT is spelled with two `s's while DESERT is spelled with
one, because EVERYONE wants two desserts, but NO ONE wants two deserts.
-- Miss Oglethorp, Gr. 5, PS. 59

While it may be true that a watched pot never boils, the one you don't
keep an eye on can make an awful mess of your stove.
-- Edward Stevenson

You know you have a small apartment when Rice Krispies echo.
-- S. Rickly Christian

Every item in the store will be on sale, except the ones that you want
-- Murphy's Food Laws n°12

Eat drink and be merry! Tommorrow you may be in Utah.

You will always forget the most important item if you don't make a list
-- Murphy's Food Laws n°10