A collection of quotes, fortunes, anecdotes, and quips. Get new quotes everyday on facebook, twitter, and tumblr.

fortunes quotes

Related Tags phathotep, george gobel, churchy la femme, ashleigh brilliant, hunter s thompson, marvin, vincent sardi, bryce nesbitt 84, ovid, meher baba

You need more time; and you probably always will.


Afternoon very favorable for romance. Try a single person for a change.


Save energy: be apathetic.


Change your thoughts and you change your world.


You will be the last person to buy a Chrysler.


Stay away from flying saucers today.


Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.


Day of inquiry. You will be subpoenaed.


You have no real enemies.


You two ought to be more careful--your love could drag on for years and years.


Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant


You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.


Be careful! UGLY strikes 9 out of 10!


All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly.


Be careful! Is it classified?


Cold hands, no gloves.


Bank error in your favor. Collect $200.


A visit to a strange place will bring fresh work.


Avoid reality at all costs.


Chess tonight.


Cheer Up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate.


Avoid gunfire in the bathroom tonight.


Chicken Little only has to be right once.


Chicken Little was right.


Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.


Communicate! It can't make things any worse.


Courage is your greatest present need.


Caution: Keep out of reach of children.


Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.


Artistic ventures highlighted. Rob a museum.