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fortunes quotes

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You may get an opportunity for advancement today. Watch it!


You may worry about your hair-do today, but tomorrow much peanut butter will
be sold.


You need no longer worry about the future. This time tomorrow you'll be dead.


You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.


You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.


You now have Asian Flu.


You own a dog, but you can only feed a cat.


You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution.


You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.


You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your own.


You recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite.


You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed.


You should emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially
if they are dead.


You should go home.


You single-handedly fought your way into this hopeless mess.


You teach best what you most need to learn.


You too can wear a nose mitten.


You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.


You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.


You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.


You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.


You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part.


You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant.


You will be attacked by a beast who has the body of a wolf, the tail of
a lion, and the face of Donald Duck.


You will be audited by the Internal Revenue Service.


You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone.


You will be awarded some great honor.


You will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize... posthumously.


You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.


You will be dead within a year.