friends quotes

Monica: Sure. Oh, um, Chandler? Y'know, the-the old Monica would - would
remind you to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush...But I'm not
gonna do that.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Monica: Okay, all right don't judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this
info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything
on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg
waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....

Phoebe: Waxine!!

Monica: Yes! Have you seen it?

Phoebe: Oh, it's incredible! I so want to be a Waxine girl.

Monica: I know!!

Phoebe: God. Do think it really doesn't hurt? `Cause how can they do that?

Monica: Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of
the rain forest!

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Chandler: Yes, but this is Pete. Okay? He's not like other people, on your
first date he took you to Rome. For most guys that's like a third or
fourth date kinda thing.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Monica: Pete's breaking up with me.

All: What?!

Monica: I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from
Atlanta, we need to talk.

Rachel: And?

Monica: Well that's it. People never say `We need to talk' unless it's something bad.

Joey: Whoa, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's breaking up with you.

Monica: Really?!

Joey: Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Ross: [sarcastic] Oh please, can't I come to your special, magical cabin?

Rachel: Why would you even want to come Ross? You're a horrible skier.

Ross: Oh-oh, hitting me where it hurts - my ski skills.

Monica: Here we go again.

Joey: I-I can't handle this, you guys.

Chandler: You know what, I can handle it, handle is my middle name.
Actually it's the ah, middle part of my first name.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Pete: ...so y'know, that's why, within a few years, that voice recognition
is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you
could be like-like, "Wash my car!", "Clean my room!"
It's not gonna be able to do any of those things, but it'll understand
what you're saying.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Monica: Alright, but I'm very excited about this OK, so you gotta promise
you won't get all big-brothery and judgmental.

Ross: Oh, I promise, what.

Monica: It's Richard Burke.

Ross: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor
Burke? Why? Why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like
a uh, brother... to dad.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Chandler: Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep
with his wife.

Joey: Karen.

Chandler: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you
know what? I just did.

Joey: Ahh. What the hell are you doing to me man.

Chandler: Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah, the rogue
processor who seduces his co-workers' wives for sport and then laughs about
it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there
in my drawer.

Joey: Really?

Chandler: No freakshow, she's fictional.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Phoebe: Hey is this true, that you write a lot of your own lines?

Joey: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the
accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a
hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get
to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Joey: He's right, man. Please. Move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food.

Chandler: Course there, they just call it food.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

[Monica is in her bed but can't fall asleep]
Monica (voiceover): If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the
shoes.
No. Don't do this.
This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything,
I'm gonna go get them... But then everyone will know.
Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back!
...I need help!
[Buries her head in her pillow]

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Chandler: (entering) Hey, does anybody need anything copied? I'm going down
to the Xerox place.

Monica: Oh, no thanks.

Chandler: Okay listen, just give me anything I can make two of.

Monica: Well, if you don't have anything to copy, why are you going down
there?

Joey: Yeah, are you just going down there to gawk at that hot girl with the
belly button ring again?

Chandler: Yeah! You wanna come?

Joey: Yeah!

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Mischa: [to Monica] And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world
away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my
dog. In seven languages.

Monica: Oh. [to Phoebe] Can I have a tissue?

Phoebe: Oh, yeah, sure. I just hope you, hope you don't accidentally suck
it up through your nose and choke on it.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Monica: So we're back on?

Carol: We're back on.

Monica: You heard the woman. Peel, chop, devil! I can't believe I lost
2 minutes.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Erica: I don't understand, why didn't you help that man?

Joey: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh,
uh, foodal chokage.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Ross: Oh come on, we just had this huge fight, all right, don't I have to
wait a while?

Chandler: Hey, this isn't like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!!

(Ross goes to call her.)

Chandler: Y'know that whole swimming thing is a myth.

Joey: Yeah, tell that to my Uncle Lenny.

Chandler: Why? What happened to him?

Joey: Nothing, he's just really believes in that.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Janice: Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the
six of you?

Phoebe: Wow, it's like a dirty math problem.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Phoebe: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat [back up singers - smelly, smelly, smelly, really bad smelly cat,
it's not your fault] OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone
um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could
talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat.

Producer: Honey, uh we, we can talk about this. It's just that it's costing
about a hundred dollars a minute to be in here.

Phoebe: Oh OK. So, um, the cat stinks but you love it, let's go.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Susan: You wanna dance?

Ross: No, that's fine.

Susan: Come on. I'll let you lead.

Ross: Ok.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Ross: Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery
....game?

Mr. Greene: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.

Ross: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs
on my table are already dead.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"