goedel quotes

Do not read this fortune under penalty of law.
Violators will be prosecuted.
(Penal Code sec. 2.3.2 (II.a.))

If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.

If this fortune didn't exist, somebody would have invented it.

This fortune is false.

If it's Tuesday, this must be someone else's fortune.

What does it mean if there is no fortune for you?

This fortune is dedicated to your mother, without whose invaluable assistance
last night would never have been possible.

Please ignore previous fortune.

Ignore previous fortune.

Did you know about the -o option of the fortune program? It makes a
selection from a set of offensive and/or obscene fortunes. Why not
try it, and see how offended you are? The -a ("all") option will
select a fortune at random from either the offensive or inoffensive
set, and it is suggested that "fortune -a" is the command that you
should have in your .profile or .cshrc. file.

If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings -- including this one.

We interrupt this fortune for an important announcement...

I know you believe you understand what you think this fortune says, but
I'm not sure you realize that what you are reading is not what it means.

THIS IS PLEDGE WEEK FOR THE FORTUNE PROGRAM

If you like the fortune program, why not support it now with your
contribution of a pithy fortunes, clean or obscene? We cannot continue
without your support. Less than 14% of all fortune users are contributors.
That means that 86% of you are getting a free ride. We can't go on like
this much longer. Federal cutbacks mean less money for fortunes, and unless
user contributions increase to make up the difference, the fortune program
will have to shut down between midnight and 8 a.m. Don't let this happen.
Mail your fortunes right now to "fortune". Just type in your favorite pithy
saying. Do it now before you forget. Our target is 300 new fortunes by the
end of the week. Don't miss out. All fortunes will be acknowledged. If you
contribute 30 fortunes or more, you will receive a free subscription to "The
Fortune Hunter", our monthly program guide. If you contribute 50 or more,
you will receive a free "Fortune Hunter" coffee mug ....

Hi there! This is just a note from me, to you, to tell you, the person
reading this note, that I can't think up any more famous quotes, jokes,
nor bizarre stories, so you may as well go home.

Since before the Earth was formed and before the sun burned hot in space,
cosmic forces of inexorable power have been working relentlessly toward
this moment in space-time -- your receiving this fortune.

=======================================================================
|| ||
|| The FORTUNE-COOKIE program is soon to be a Major Motion Picture! ||
|| Watch for it at a theater near you next summer! ||
|| ||
=======================================================================
Francis Ford Coppola presents a George Lucas Production:
"Fortune Cookie"
Directed by Steven Spielberg.
Starring Harrison Ford Bette Midler Marlon Brando
Christopher Reeves Marilyn Chambers
and Bob Hope as "The Waiter".
Costumes Designed by Pierre Cardin.
Special Effects by Timothy Leary.
Read the Warner paperback!
Invoke the Unix program!
Soundtrack on XTC Records.
In 70mm and Dolby Stereo at selected theaters and terminal
centers.