hitchhiker quotes

"What the hell, he thought, you're only young once, and
threw himself out of the window. That would at least keep
the element of surprise on his side."

- Ford outwitting a Vogon with a rocket launcher by going
into another certain death situation.

"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong
and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a
thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually
turns out to be impossible to get at or repair."

- One of the laws of computers and programming revealed.

"One's never alone with a rubber duck. "

"The story goes that I first had the idea for THHGTTG while
lying drunk in a field in Innsbruck (or `Spain' as the BBC
TV publicity department authoritatively has it, probably
because it's easier to spell)." - Foreward by DNA.

FORD Six pints of bitter. And quickly please, the world's about to
end.
BARMAN Oh yes, sir? Nice weather for it.

"There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily
escaped the chronicler's mind."

- This line perhaps best sums up the whole book.

"Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz smiled very slowly. This was done
not so much for effect as because he was trying to remember
the sequence of muscle movements. "

"OK, so ten out of ten for style, but minus several million
for good thinking, yeah? "

"Does it worry you that you don't talk any kind of sense? "

"`Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.'"

- Arthur experiences the improbability drive at work.

"`The first ten million years were the worst,' said Marvin,
`and the second ten million, they were the worst too. The
third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went
into a bit of a decline.'"

- Marvin reflecting back on his 576,000,003,579 year
career as Milliways' car park attendent.

"`...You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call
attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling
anyone or anything.'
`But the plans were on display...'
`On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to
find them.'
`That's the display department.'
`With a torch.'
`Ah, well the lights had probably gone.'
`So had the stairs.'
`But look you found the notice didn't you?'
`Yes,' said Arthur, `yes I did. It was on display in the
bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused
lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of The
Leopard".'"

- Arthur singing the praises of the local council planning department.

"`Eddies,' said Ford, `in the space-time continuum.'
`Ah,' nodded Arthur, `is he? Is he?'"

- Arthur failing in his first lesson of galactic physics in four years.

"There are of course many problems connected with life, of
which some of the most popular are `Why are people born?'
`Why do they die?' `Why do they spend so much of the
intervening time wearing digital watches?'"

- The Book.

"`You'd better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace.
It's unpleasantly like being drunk.'
`What's so unpleasant about being drunk?'
`You ask a glass of water.'"

- Arthur getting ready for his first jump into hyperspace.

"`In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high,
men were REAL men, women were REAL women, and small furry
creatures from Alpha Centauri were REAL small furry
creatures from Aplha Centauri.'"

- The Book getting all nostalgic.

"`You know they've reintroduced the death penalty for
insurance company directors?'
`Really?' said Arthur. `No I didn't. For what offence?'
Trillian frowned.
`What do you mean, offence?'
`I see.'"

- Evidence that there will be some justice in the Universe eventually.

"Rome wasn't burned in a day. "

"Arthur felt at a bit of a loss. There was a whole Galaxy
of stuff out there for him, and he wondered if it was
churlish of him to complain to himself that it lacked just
two things: the world he was born on and the woman he
loved. "

"`Er, hey Earthman...'
`Arthur,' said Arthur.
`Yeah, could you just sort of keep this robot with you and
guard this end of the passageway. OK?'
`Guard?' said Arthur. `What from? You just said there's no
one here.'
`Yeah, well, just for safety, OK?' said Zaphod.
`Whose? Yours or mine?'"

- Arthur drawing the short straw on Magrathea.

"`How do you feel?' he asked him.
`Like a military academy,' said Arthur, `bits of me keep
passing out.'" ....
`We're safe,' he said.
`Oh good,' said Arthur.
`We're in a small galley cabin,' said Ford, `in one of the
spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.'
`Ah,' said Arthur, `this is obviously some strange usage of
the word "safe" that I wasn't previously aware of.'

- Arthur after his first ever teleport ride.